so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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