Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
