Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The Olympian is in my bed
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