Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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