Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
