Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
