$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
