dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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