Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
