she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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