I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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