Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
