My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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