So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
