i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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