"it" just moved
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
