yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
