I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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