whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
