She's JV to your varsity
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Couch. On fire.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
