I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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