he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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