Screwed.edu
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
