I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
