And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
