I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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