dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
