My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
