i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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