I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
