i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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