maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
