oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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