we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
