you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
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What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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