My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
