Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Two words: blizzard sex
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
