I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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