Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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