I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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