Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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