Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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