i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
