You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
