we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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