i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
