I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
