on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
