Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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