they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
