do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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