Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
