dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
