Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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