What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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