No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
