The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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