I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
