My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
