porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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