I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
