the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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